Goonies LS
by Akkiko
Summary: Welcome to the Goonies LS! Take a tour of your new home, but be warned, never state your opinion on Coke or Pepsi. Find us in the TITAN server and enlist now! Warning! Insanity 101 is taught here by live study!


Warnings: If you don't play the game, this will most likely not make any sense to you.

Goonies

LS!

Featuring members from the Shadowriders!

Before you lies a beautifully decorated manor, the front lawn must be bigger then the castle of Sandoria itself and the manor could be easily mistaken for Buckingham Palace! Stepping through the high gates that are lined with polished black bars and pointed with sharp tips, you walk up to the door, and hesitantly knock. Instantly the door is jerked open and before you stands a female Hume, she grins.

"You must be the new member! Welcome!" She says enthusiastically and drags you in slamming the door shut behind you, for some reason that makes you nervous.

"My name is Laiata! I'm a warrior, in case you didn't notice." She chattered dragging you along the corridor. Coming into the foyer Laiata grinned.

"Okay, originally we were the Shadowriders, except the old leader kind of had to abandon the old LS, a few guys were a little off the kilter. . ." She murmured slightly. "Like this one guy who kept spamming about genitals. Sad really." She said shaking her head. "Anyway, until we get to know you better, I'm afraid you won't be given a sack. No offense, in all honesty I haven't even gotten one yet, and I'm the wife to the leader! His name is Ziggeraut, he has his issues but he's a decent guy!" She said enthusiastically. Suddenly there was a crash to your left and looking in that direction revealed a Taru Taru skipping by.

"Bagel. . . when I get my hands on you I am going to kick your tiny taru ass all the way to Mhaura!!!" A voice snapped and instantly an Elvaan came within view while he was untangling himself from a spool of wool thread. He chased after the Taru with a vengeance. Laiata grinned.

"That was Bagel and said LS leader. Excuse me, I'll have to get another member to guide you around, I have to save a certain 3 feet high member." At that moment a black haired Elvaan female turned the corner, the minute she saw Laiata's eyes land on her she spun around and tried to run.

"GIN! Just the person I need!" The Elvaan cursed and turned slowly grinning sheepishly.

"Hey . . . Lai! Listen I just got a call from Mabs and I'm gonna go now! See y-!"

"Stop RIGHT there Ginryu!" Lai said ominously pointing an accusatory at Gin who was trying to escape. "We have a new member, and you are going to show the new member around. OR ELSE." She said with a cruel smile. Ginryu gulped.

"Awwwww."

"Good!" Laiata clapped her hands and smiled brightly. "Have fun you two!" And she ran off. Ginryu groaned, then looked at you and sighed. Walking over you were forced to tilt your head up a bit, like everyone does with an Elvaan.

"My name is Ginryu, and I suppose I'm kind of an older member of this LS. . . I think I was one of the first 20 people invited into the Shadowriders, think is the keyword there." Ginryu mumbled scratching her head before shrugging.

"Come on, I'll show you around." And grabbing your arm, she hauled you off to the left.

"Okay!" She said as the two of you started down the hallway. "The first left is Ziggeraut and Laiata's room, the two are married you know. First right is Kadak's room, next left is Kiary, right Eashie, left Chster, right mine, left Magetsu, right Negative, left Lageato, right Xsephiroth, left empty, which will probably be yours now." Ginryu said pointing to a wooden door, upon opening it, the room was revealed to be a fashionably suited room, complete with a set of Sandorian furnishing. Upon questioning Ginryu about that, she shrugged.

"Change it if you want, but the majority of both Linkshells are Sandorian." That done she continued walking, closing the door you followed, stepping back into the foyer she suddenly stopped in the door from and pulled you back before you passed through. About to question this action, you were interrupted when a Mithra, well a Mithra and a Hume ran by with a horde of gobs behind them, that and one orc.

"TRAIN TO ZONE!!" The Hume yelled out laughing.

"The 1400 hour traffic, courtesy of Eashie and Chster." She said and led you up the stairs and to the right.

"Welcome to the kitchen."

"Gin!" A joyful voice cried and a Galka placed himself in front of them grinning.

"Hey Lag." Gin said dully and walked over to the fridge, noticing the brightly wrapped parcel on the counter she blinked.

"What's this?" She asked curiously. A Hume Paladin named Artemis snorted.

"Another message for the ever desirable Elvaan Female-!" He paused dramatically while winking at Lag who snorted as well. "Ginryu!"

"WHAT? Altana curse it, don't they give up!?" Ginryu groaned slamming the fridge shut and looking over the package. "I swear if this is Orc liver like the last package . . ."

"No, it was Magetsu who sent you that remember?"

"Still . . ." She prodded the package before hesitantly pulling on the string. It suddenly burst open and a singing moogle appeared, it bowed once before taking in a deep breath. "GYAH!" Ginryu yelped and looked around frantically, spotting a large pot, she grabbed that and tipped it upside down, covering the moogle. You blinked at her. From inside the pot, a melody began.

"_You make my heart sing!_

_I'll give only you an amethyst ring!_

_My lovely Redmage Elvaan, _

_Oh I love you cause I can!_

_I am forever yours!_

_This tiny lover of lore-_

_I'll hug you tight and never let go!_

_Cause if I do, oh such woe!_

_Inky black hair_

_Honey gold stare_

_I'll snuggle up close all through the night!_

_Even though there's 5 feet of difference in height!_

_I'm so honest, I'm true blue!_

_For I'm the only guy for you_

_The little guy, that tiny Taru-_

_MARU-MARU!" _

The horrendous singing finally stopped and a deadly silence filled the kitchen, you were staring appalled, Ginryu was horrified and blushing horribly, Artemis and Lageato shared a glance before . . .

"OH MY FREAKEN GOD!!!" Artemis whooped out and fell onto the ground on all floors slapping the floor and crying tears of mirth. Ginryu scowled.

"ENOUGH. WITH. THE. FREAKEN. ANONYMOUS. PROPOSALS!!!" Ginryu snapped lifting up the pot, grabbing the parcel which contained a ring, she slapped it into the hands of the surprised moogle, then she leaned down, a venomous glare in her eyes.

"Take this back to that guy and tell him NO!" She said angrily. The moogle bowed before vanishing after muttering;

"Creepy Elvaan kupopoo!" After it vanished, a Hume walked in, blinking at the furious and red Ginryu, the laughing Lageato and Artemis, he sighed.

"Another proposal?"

"Yes."

"What was it this time?"

"Singing telegram."

"Oh god, they didn't use gobs again this time did they?"

"No. Moogle."

"Oh lord."

"Tell me about it Onidrushka." Ginryu grumbled. Lageato shared a glance with Artemis who winked in reply, Ginryu however didn't notice this, neither did Onidrushka, you did.

"Uhh . . ." You managed out when Lageato walked up behind Ginryu and poked her shoulder, she turned.

"Yea?" She asked, regaining her pale complexion. Lag smiled and got to one knee and grabbed her hand with his two large ones, her eyes immediately narrowed.

"Gin . . ."

"Lag . . ." She said warningly.

"Would you do me the honor of . . ." Gin shifted slightly in her position, as if getting ready to kick him where the sun don't shine . . .

"Do you the honor of what?" She asked testily. Artemis looked expectantly at the Galka and Onidrushka looked at Lag as if he were insane.

". . . Helping me tie my shoe?"

'Oh my.' You think. 'That is an awfully big vein. . . ;;' Artemis and Onidrushka burst out laughing, Ginryu however was somewhat, LESS then amused.

"Sure." She said sweetly. Then kicked him. Below the belt. And HARD. Lag yelped and dropped to the floor squeaking while rolling over and over. She put a foot on him to stop him from rolling, leaned down and tied his shoe.

"There, everyone's happy!" She said grinning. Onidrushka wiped some tears away from the corner of an eye.

"Somehow, I don't think Lag is very happy."

"Why not? I tied his shoe for him! And really, if Arty doesn't stop laughing in 2.3 seconds he won't be a very happy Hume either, ever wonder what it's like being eunuch?" That shut the Hume up fast. You couldn't help it, you chuckled, somehow you were mortified at the obviously insane group, yet somehow was amused as well. Lageato was at that point trying to crawl off the floor when an Elvaan came in, the same one he had seen chasing the Taru, pulling strands of string from his hair he sighed and plopped into a chair, raising an eyebrow at Lageato.

"Dude, that's pathetic. What happened to you?" He asked dully.

"Gin kicked me in the nads. . ." He moaned and collapsed into a chair.

"YOU DESERVED IT!" Ginryu shrieked.

"What'd he do now?" Ziggeraut asked sighing.

"He proposed to me!" She snapped. Onidrushka broke in with a small cough and said lightly;

"He proposed to her to help him tie his shoe." Ziggeraut broke out laughing at this.

"You never learn man."

"Nope." Lageato said weakly before collapsing. Suddenly a figure jumped into the doorway startling you.

"THE ONE! THE ONLY-!!" The figure began in a booming voice. "Pepsi is better then coke." He said calmly winking before returning to the booming voice; "KADAK IS HERE!"

"W00t!!" Ziggeraut cheered.

"Yay, it's the maniac." Artemis said grinning.

"THE maniac? Don't you mean maniac number 17?" Onidrushka asked dully.

"There's only 17 maniacs in this LS?" Lageato demanded.

"Good point." Artemis said dully.

"Hey Kad. Oh, and BLASPHEMY TO YOU AND YOUR PEPSI!" Ginryu snapped. Kadak groaned.

"Damn, didn't know you were in the room Gin."

"Pepsi!" Ziggeraut cried grinning. "And BurgerKing!"

"AUGH! COKE AND MCDONALDS!"

"HERE HERE FOR COKE!" Another Elvaan called walking by.

"Hey! Stay out of it X!" Kadak cried pouting. Xsephiroth laughed and turned the corner. By this time you were starting to edge towards the door. Before you could get there however . . .

"That son of a Yagudo!" A voice grumbled as a Mithra came stalking through the door.

"Something happen Kiary?" Artemis asked as Ziggeraut, Ginryu and Kadak went at it, still arguing over coke and pepsi.

"Yeah, I was leveling my monk, and I needed a heal! So I asked this passing Taru, and she said fine, and started casting a spell! I noticed it was taking to long and wondered why, but thought maybe it was a big spell, so I stayed quiet. Unfortunately, instead of healing me, she sent me to the crag of Dem!!! A level 6 monk! I DIED IN SECONDS!"

"And I'm getting tired of having to raise you." An Elvaan groaned stalking past her, opening the fridge, and reaching for a can.

"Shut it Neg!" Kiary said blushing furiously. Negative laughed. Suddenly he found himself facing an angry Kadak, Ginryu and Ziggeraut.

"Which one are you going to pick?" Kadak demanded pointing. Everyone looked, including you, to see that Negative's hand was between a coke can and a pepsi can. He sweatdropped.

'Uhhhh . . . what do I do?' Negative thought panicking. 'Kadak and Ziggeraut could gang up on me, but Gin is really strong, plus she owes me money!' He started sweating, you noticed this and came to the defense of the poor guy.

"Now, now, it doesn't really matter right? Coke and pepsi are really kind of the same tasting, besides, Ice tea is a whole lot better!" (AN: PRETEND you like ice tea. :-D) Ginryu, Kadak and Ziggeraut blinked.

"Ya know . . ."

"He does have a point."

"Yeah! Ice tea is way better then coke or pepsi!" The three grinned at the agreement.

"In fact, I feel kind of thirsty right now . . ." Kadak said calmly.

"Wanna go hit Pizza hut?" Ziggeraut offered.

"Sure! Hawaiian!" Ginryu cried enthusiastically.

"Ugh, pepperoni here." Kadak said in mock disgust. "We Humes are tougher then that, we need meat to survive!"

"There's meat on Hawaiian baka. Remember the ham?"

"Oh yeah . . ."

"I feel like cheese right now . . ." Ziggeraut said dimly thinking.

"Vegetarian!" A voice cried, everyone turned to look at the doorway where the voice had come from, blinked when they saw no one, then looked down. Bagel. He grinned wolfishly. Kiary blinked and sat up.

"It's open to us too? Sweet! Pepperoni and mushrooms!"

"The Mithkabob special over here!"

"Are you nuts?! The Sandorian special!"

"Opinions to yourself Artemis."

"Grrrr."

"Windurst palate!"

"Bastokian gusto!"

"Orc liver!" Everyone blinked at Xsephiroth who was walking by once again.

"SAY WHAT??" You, and everyone else in the room yelped. He laughed.

"Just kidding. Pepperoni!"

"Okay, okay, hang on, lemme get this down . . ." Ziggeraut grumbled grabbing a paper and ink quill.

"Okay. . . Hawaiian for Gin, me cheese, pepperoni for Kad and X, Vegetarian for Bag, pepperoni plus mushrooms for Kiary, Mithkabob special for Eashie, when did she get in anyway?"

"About 2 seconds ago, I heard 'pizza'." The Mithra who was suddenly in a chair on the far left said grinning. The Hume was next to her and they were both a little bloody.

"Dude, wash up before you eat. Gob blood is gross." Bagel said plopping down on a stool. Chster, who was the Hume on her left laughed.

"It's not gob blood." He said cheerfully.

"Then what kind of blood is it?"

"Citadel bats! We trained a whole lot of em here!" He said brightly. Everyone yelped.

"Don't those things aggro?!"

"I'm only level 6, I'm gonna die again!"

"Dammit . . . and I was just about to retire from raising too . . ."

"AUGH!"

"I DON'T WANNA DIEEEEEEEE!" You just stood there, calm, maybe because you couldn't see what the big fuss was all about. However . . .

BANG!

Everyone, including you, jumped at the large sound. Turning to Ziggeraut who had fired a pistol. He grinned sheepishly and smiled.

"Now people, calm down, let's not freak out."

"NOT FREAK OUT?? THOSE THINGS KILLED A LEVEL 34 GUY IN TWO HITS! Do you get that?! **TWO** hits!!! And then they killed me right after!!" Ginryu wailed. Bagel ran in circles, not really panicking, but doing it for the heck of it, Kiary was gone to her room, undoubtedly to try and change her jobs, Negative was sitting there, still drinking a glass of water, which he had picked after some consideration. Artemis was sitting at the table boredly, Lageato was against the wall looking feverishly around for bats, Eashie and Chster were busy cleaning dirt, blood and grime off their clothes, Onidrushka had vanished off to somewhere, and finally, Ginryu and Kadak were huddled together looking around nervously.

"Waitaminute!" Kadak suddenly cried. "Why am I scared?"

"Because at the moment your in your thief job." Ziggeraut supplied.

"Oh, right." And he went back to huddling with Gin who sniffled.

"Oh my god . . . we're all gonna die. . ." She mumbled.

"Hey guys . . ." Eashie said softly.

"Yes?" Ziggeraut asked.

"Is now a bad time to tell you that we lied and didn't train bats to here?"

". . . ."

Silence

"Oh-" Gin began standing up and glaring at them. "It's on now!" And she tackled the laughing Chster. You blinked, as they began to scuffle.

"OOF! Geroff Gin! Nit waf a jobe!" (Get off Gin! It was a joke!)

"OH I'LL SHOW YOU A JOKE! FIRE!"

"AUGH! HOT HOT!!" And she chased him out of the room casting the fire spell repeatedly. Ziggeraut sighed.

"Oh well, I'll just call in for two of every kind of pizza they got, just so you know, I am so not footing the bill for this like last time. I'm rich, not THAT rich."

"How much do we chip in?"

"Roughly 10k per person."

"Zig . . ."

"Okay okay, 5k."

"Zig."

"ALRIGHT! 1k."

"Better." Gin came back at that point and began dusting her hands off.

"Well now, don't anyone go looking for Chster too soon, he's healing some third degree burns."

"I feel so sorry for him." Kadak said dully.

"Yeah right." Artemis said snorting.

"Hey Zig?"

"Yeah Kad?"

"Get a bottle of pepsi while you're at it!" He said grinning. Gin's eyes widened. You groaned, coincidentally so did everyone else in the room.

"COKE!"  
"They don't have coke Gin. . . . CAUSE IT SUCKS! MWA HAHA!"

"YOU BLASPHEMER!" They continued in this manner, with Artemis and Lageato just shaking their heads. A poke to your shin drew your gaze down and you spotted a Taru Taru.

"Hi. I'm Muramasa. Who are you?" He asked you.

"The new guy." You replied shrugging.

"Ah, I see." Muramasa replied thinking. Then he looked at you again. "Are you insane?"

"Well, I used to think so before . . ." He trailed off looking at Kadak and Ginryu who had now drawn their weapons.

"Before you met us. Yes, it's like that a lot. Well, welcome to Goonies." He said offering a hand to shake. You smiled and shook his hand. "You don't survive without insanity in this LS." He commented turning back to observe the fight.

"Coke!"

"Pepsi!"

"Coke!"

"Pepsi!"

"COKE DAMN YOU!"  
"PEPSI YOU FOOL!"

"Guys . . ." Ziggeraut groaned.

"Hey Gin!" Xsephiroth called, they all looked at the doorway. "Guess what, you've got another package." He said winking. Gin groaned.

"Not again . . ."

Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy, I only own Ginryu, the other characters all belong to themselves, and 'you' technically belongs to you.

Quite a few of these occurrences are real, and still happening today. Creepy, ain't it? ;;

I am trying to compose a complete list of our LSes, don't expect it for some time however . . . this is what I have gathered.

! Means they are members off both

? Means I'm not sure of them

Those in the Goonies LS who have neither symbol means they have switched entirely.

Shadowriders:

Artemis

Bale

Bowmen

Goonies:

Ziggeraut

Chster

Kiary

Eashie ?

Ginryu

Aryana

Muramasa ?

Negative !

Fenara

Cemeille

Babyvox

Tammyxxx

Byuu

Myloko

Amand

Raylinn

Pastortroy !

Magetsu !

Lageato !

Laiata

Onidrushka !

Xsephiroth

Kadak

Risx

And that's all I've gotten so far . . . . ;;

Guest appearance by Bagel the Taru Taru!


End file.
